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How should a man behave on a first date?

Motto: “The first true love is always the last one” – Andrzej Majewski

Getting in touch with your perfect match through a dating site is usually the first stage of the relationship, although it should never be the last one. At last, we want to meet the real person, in the real world. Lots of men wonder how should they behave on the first date. What to do and what no to do, so that the first date won’t be also the last one? As it turns out it is the men who have the most doubts about that subject. How to behave and how to present yourself so that you leave a good impression on the potential partner? Here’s some advice!

Maintain eye contact (the good kind)

Oftentimes, women notice whether the man they’re talking to looks them in the eye. Eye contact indicates interest in the interlocutor. Sadly, many men neglect this important part of the human relationship. Sometimes, it stems from being self-conscious; on the other hand, though – it may stem from the inherent male narcissism and conviction that one simply deserves the woman’s attention. Now and again, it can also be a result of being distracted – we sometimes think about matters other than the date we’re currently having. Sometimes, our nerves can also spoil our plans, and despite trying our best we simply cannot save ourselves from the embarrassment of saying or doing something humiliating. What should you do, then? When going on a date you shouldn’t be nervous, and you certainly shouldn’t think about your everyday problems. During the date, try your best to look her in the eye, but not in a pushy or creepy way. Act natural. If your date mirrors your behavior, it helps you build your confidence, which, in turn, deepens the bond between you two. Maintaining eye contact with a woman assures her of our interest and affection.

Do this! / Well received behaviors

So, you’ve met for the first time. Usually, nothing’s perfect on the first time. Therefore, you must make every effort in order to appear your best. But how?

React to her words – naturally, those reactions shouldn’t be overly impulsive. Nods in the right moments and correct facial micro-expressions will assure your date about your interest in her. They will also emphasize the similarities between you two much better than all the fake “oohing” and “aahing” many men practise.
Don’t hesitate to compliment her
Is she sporting a million-dollar look? It would be great if you told her. Exchanging such niceties brings people closer to each other. Beware of the cliché compliments, though – they can be received as faux or forced.

Take care of your looks

They say the clothes don’t make the man, but, as writer Andrzej Majewski once said, “Clothes are meant to cover our exteriors and reveal our inner selves’’. There’s also another well-known proverb: fine feathers make fine birds. In general, women pay more attention to the appearance of men than men do themselves. You should be elegant, clean and, last but not least – you should smell good. Women have generally more acute sense of smell then men and so they’re more sensitive regarding that topic. Too little soap or cologne, or, adversely, too much of those can disinterest women. Remember – the attributes of a gentleman are: clean hair, pearly white teeth, clean and well – kept fingernails and, of course, clean shiny shoes.

Be empathetic, nice and witty

This oftentimes proved to be the hardest. For many men, this is an unachievable dream, so at least try to shine in the spotlight in a smart way. Try to catch her attention – and she’ll be yours. If your wit and intelligence are not among your most prominent virtues, do not force yourself to prove the world otherwise. As Andrzej Majewski, a PR expert, once said, ‘’those who try hard to be make fun usually end up being funny themselves’’.

Be an individual

There’s a lot of boring, average guys. Why should she bother talking to yet another one? Try not to mention the trivialities of your everyday life, don’t complain and whine about how unfair and difficult your life is. She’s got her own problems, why should she bother with yours? Try to think of something that might interest her to the point where she loses track of time. Probe her interests and try to be up to date with them – this way you tow will always have something to talk about.

Don’t do that!

Stress and discomfort quickly become noticeable in one’s behavior. Even if you’re a little bit nervous for whatever reason, do your best to conceal it. There are certain behaviors that, although hardly noticeable for you, make your surroundings aware of your nervousness. Here are the most common ones:

Logorrhea – oftentimes, we try to cover up our nervousness by speaking too much, in hopes that the endless stream of words will keep our interlocutor’s attention away from us and our nerves. Unfortunately, this conviction is false. This constant verbal bombardment is going to expose our nervousness and stage fright, the very things it was supposed to cover up. As Andrzej Majewski once said “one who talks a lot has usually little to say”

Tapping your fingers on the table – which is usually done unconsciously. Our hands have minds of their own and they know exactly what to do. This is an unforgivable mistake, as it not only creates distance between you and your date, it also can be potentially received as disapproval, or even aggression.

Overexaggerated gestures and playing with random objects – adequate and subdued gestures are okay – they show the interlocutor’s excitement and agitation. However, nervous and overexaggerated gestures usually aren’t received well. Moreover, while playing with random objects, for example on the table, you can knock something over and embarrass yourself. Don’t let your date see that you’re paying more attention to whatever object you’re fiddling with than to her.

Leg bouncing – from your waist above you’re cool and relaxed, but something is tapping under the table? It’s probably your foot, which indicates that you may not be so cool after all. Do not allow your foot to control you. If your date notices the glasses on the table clinking, it will be the end of your tryst.

Just act natural – the things that appear to be the most obvious and easiest often turn out to be the hardest. We’ve given you so much advice that it will be hard for you to remember them all, let alone use them. However, the last piece of advice we’re going to give you is the most important one – just be yourself. All those thing you’ve just read should be thought of before you meet her – because during the date, you should focus solely on her. Nobody’s perfect – including your partner. She’ll easily forgive you any small imperfections. Sometimes, it is those small imperfections that fondness grows from. Nobody likes perfectionists and stiffs. Life without a bit of surprise and a pinch of craziness would be boring!

Be confident

Nobody likes prigs, but being self-confident is something else. Women love men who are confident. They know that they have a strong personality and they’re someone they can rely on. How should you recognize the signs of low self-confidence?

Trembling voice – probably the most spectacular and common sign of the lack of confidence is speaking with a trembling or breaking voice. What does a woman need such a Mama’s boy for? Afraid of his own shadow, unable to even speak properly? Speak with your normal melodic voice, even if you’re slightly nervous. You can’t? Well, it can be trained, you only have to want it.

Awkward silence – well-read and intelligent people won’t ever struggle to find a conversation topic. Sometimes, though, your date might pick a topic you’re not familiar with. What then? Your unwillingness to talk is not something that will help you get a second date. There’s a way out of this sticky situation, though. If you’re unable to bring anything into the conversation about a particular subject, just graciously change it. On the other hand, constantly interrupting your interlocutor is just as dangerous as saying nothing at all, if not more. It shows your lack of respect and an obvious sign of nervousness.


Wrong rendezvous point

The place you pick for the date tells a lot about you. Calm, composed people will choose a calm restaurant, an art gallery or a park. People who are full of energy, on the other hand, will meet in a club, at a promenade full of people or at a disco. It’s always safer to pick a calm place for your first date, where you can both relax and talk. If your partner seeks bigger thrills, you can always move to a club.

Don’t bore her – some men’s most beloved conversation topic is themselves. Me, myself and I… Be open and empathetic. You are a part of this date, so of course you should share some things about yourself, but there are lots of interesting topics to talk about apart from you. Men are self-promoters, but not all women will want to listen to your never – ending self-praises. If a women gets interested in your private life, she’ll ask you about it. Smile a lot, tell her some jokes if you can or share some funny anecdotes. It has been proven by scientific research that sense of humor is women’s favorite male trait.

The fear of giving the wrong first impression – ever heard of the self-fulfilling prophecy? Think positive, and your body will respond to that. Of course, you should think about what you’re doing, but too much control over your each and every aspect of the relationship with your partner, every word and gesture will make you stiff and unnatural. The lack of artlessness in contact with somebody is perceived as a lack of honesty – and that’s a disaster.

Be spontaneous

The most important advice of them all – JUST BE YOURSELF
It’s obvious that the person will behave differently in different situations. However, changing your behavior on a date and forcing yourself to act in a way that is unnatural or does not comply with your moral standards is never good in the long run. No man will ever be liked by all women and vice versa. Using various techniques and tricks you can seduce any woman, but you probably won’t be able to build a long-lasting relationship with her. If you really want to get to know somebody, build a long-lasting (maybe even everlasting?) relationship,, you have to show that person your true self. Of course, first let her get to know you from your brightest side. She’ll either accept you or she won’t. And what if she doesn’t? C’est la vie, tomorrow’s another day! At last, you shall meet your better half ?

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